Sunday, December 30, 2012

Tempted

"Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's." ~ Billy Wilder

Yesterday, late in the afternoon, my younger sister, visiting for the holidays, and I, went out to drink a few beers at one of our favorite pubs. When we got there the place was really packed and there weren't two barstools next to each other, but this kind woman asked if we would want her and her friend to slide down a seat so that we could sit together (I had seen the person with her was a guy but he had gone off somewhere else and so wasn't around when we took his jacket off the back of his chair and moved it one chair over!). We kindly thanked her for being so thoughtful.

Soon enough I realized that I recognized this woman. I didn't know her well, but had first met her when I was nine years old!!! At that time I had begged my mom to let me go to a two-week sleep-away camp (none of the other kids in my family had done such a thing)! I got to this camp and I absolutely HATED it! I think I hated just about every boring thing about it (keep in mind I had six siblings back home who never gave me a dull moment!) and this girl, S., who was a couple of years older than me, and I, found each other through commiserating on just wanting to go home! Well, I did go home! After one week I was like, enough boredom is enough boredom, and called my mom to come get me. One of the best decisions I ever made : )

Anyway, I start talking with S., and then her friend, this guy, comes back and sits down next to me, between S. and I. Somewhere in the midst of our conversation, I find out that they are just friends (both being divorced - as a side note this guy, P., told me he got divorced from a women he had been married to for twelve years who was seventeen years older than him! And she was the one who wanted the divorce! I found that kind of interesting!).

Well, P., turns to chat with me and his eyes are beautiful. We both felt some kind of chemistry. He made me feel it and I must of made him feel it. Because it was definitely right there! But as much as "something" was going on between the two of us, I just kept thinking of C.! Part of me was telling myself, you've got this guy sitting right next to you NOW and who knows what will happen with you and C. Plus C. won't even be back here for most likely another six months! And C. could completely change his mind about you in that time. I said to myself, "You are putting all of your chips on the table for C. and is that the wisest thing to do, especially at your age, with your biological clock clanking?"

But in the end, even though this seemingly sweet, nice guy, P. slipped me his phone number in my coat pocket and begged me to call him, I know I won't. I decided then that I was putting my money on C.! I am making my bed and now I will lie in it. 

I hope I am making the right bet!!!

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