Keep On Keeping On

"Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul."
~ Unknown

So, I am continuing to write and send emails to C. even though I still have not heard from him in over two months. If you've learned anything about me while reading this blog you may have gathered that I am stubborn, persistent, faith-filled (most of the time!) and when I get an idea in my head it's just not going away until I have followed it through to its completion. I'm not giving up on C. yet. If you think I should, then I'm glad this is my blog and not yours! ; ) 

I wrote C, in an email not long ago that it is beginning to feel less like I'm writing to him and more like I'm writing a "Dear Diary" note. I wrote, "I wish I new why you "vanished;" I'm expecting you to tell me as soon as you can; I can no longer imagine when that will be, just that it will be..." That is what I truly believe; that I will hear from him... only time will tell if my belief turns out to be real. So, since that note, I begin my emails with, "Dear Diary." 

Because I haven't really had much to write about in this blog, if you're interested, I'll give you some more insight into some of the things I've written to C. - some inane, some a little deeper. Here are the more recent ones.

$100

"Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

~ A.A. Milne

My lack of faith during this past two weeks has just cost me a $100! But I have now learned a great lesson: faith is FREE, but lacking it can be costly in more ways than one. I love learning lessons about faith (or my lack thereof) but I do hate having money taken from my wallet to learn the lesson!

So, my free lesson regarding faith is to just keep believing. It doesn't matter how things appear so much as it matters how I view how things appear!!!

 I have got to chose to view miracles; it's the only way. I've had my faith weakened. I paid a price for that weakness. Now I must rebuild my faith "wealth;" it's too precious to part with and I won't let it be taken from me so easily again. 

Learning Curve

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.” - Thomas Edison

I've been thinking (and feeling) of why it is that when I get so very close to something that I really want it gets taken away from me... abruptly at that! *Deep sigh* It's frustrating. It's like I'm always being tested  and I want to know why? Why do I have to be the one who is constantly being forced to climb over walls and fight dragons? Even as I write the question I know the answer: it's about faith.

I've said, on more than one occasion in this blog, that I believe that faith is what I am here to learn in this life; having it, losing it, finding it and holding onto it. Faith is the key to allowing the creator in me to manifest my ideas of creation; my dreams, my hopes, my desires, my miracles.

Obviously, I'm still not learning the full extent of the lesson... yet. I will.

Noting within myself how far I've come on my journey, how my attitude toward trials has evolved; from woe-is-me, the glass is half-empty, to the glass is half-full, I won't be defeated, is what, in the end, will carry me to the fulfillment of my full potential. Faith tells me that.

It is, of course, not hearing from C. for so long that is making me ponder the repeating of these trial themes. After all, when I last heard from him he couldn't have been more positive in expressing his feelings towards me and yet he's disappeared, as if he never were. What am I to make of it all? It's too soon to tell. But it is a hardship not knowing; not understanding.

It was in the midst of thinking about why hard lessons are seemingly repeating in my life that this article from Paulo Coelho's blog , completely apropos, came to my attention. "The one who fails must not see this as a mistake, but rather as a step toward greater self knowledge." Sounds like a good lesson to me.