Uh Oh...

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought."

~ Buddha

In the earlier My Turn post, near the end, after writing of my excitement about C. and the possibilities that might exist for us, I wrote, "Surely, as we continue to get to know each other, he, or I, will have to be incompatible in some major area (although of course I'm hoping we aren't!)." Well, as it turns out, we are philosophical opposed in a major area! I must have had some intuition that that might be the case so I never brought it up in our conversation, but eventually, he did. 

So, I suggested that we avoid our philosophical difference until he gets back and we meet in person and have a conversation about it and then see where we end up. He agreed. 

As I have said, I am very confused by our "relationship" and I am trying to maintain my emotions on an even keel - I don't want to be pessimistic that things won't work out for us, but I also feel that I want to temper any optimism that things will work out for us.

The problem is, I feel so close to actually getting somewhere positive on my dreaming miracles journey that it scares me to think that it might not come to fruition; that things beyond my control could take it away from me. 

I know that this is the time where I must slay another dragon. I can't let the dragon of Fear force me off my path! I have to have the faith that things are miraculously coming together for me. That C. has come into my life for a reason and that reason is good. That no matter what happens, even if C. were to do an about-face and change direction on his feelings for me and being my sperm donor that something even better and more miraculous would occur. 

To be faith-filled is my lesson in life; it is my goal to learn my lesson well. Therefore, Faith will slay the dragon of Fear, allowing me to attain the boon - my miracles!