"Face your fears and doubts, and new worlds will open to you.” - Robert Kiyosaki
Happy Mother's Day to all of you that have children and to all of you that aspire to have them!!!
I got a gift today that gave me joy... I finally heard from C.! It has been two weeks since he left. He told me he has been extremely busy; often working 18-hour days.
He also said, "Rest assured, the arrangements we discussed were made before I left _________, so there is a deposit there for you should it come to that. I'll give you the accession details at a later date; your doctor is the point of contact." That he banked his sperm for me before he left is really amazing and feels like an early "mother's day" gift.
Now, comes the scary/interesting part... he attached a photo of himself to the email! But I can't muster the courage to open it!!! Can you believe that? I just can't do it; at least not tonight.
I'm worried that he won't be attractive, or just not my "type." And after corresponding with him and feeling that we have some sort of "connection" which, if coupled with a physical attraction on both our parts, could actually lead to something more: the making of babies, I don't want have his looks be the thing that squelchs our relationship.
OMG, I can't believe how school-girlish I can be, but I guess I am - I can't open that photo attachment! I have been praying to God for the past two weeks, "Please let me be attracted to C. Please let C. be my "type."" Now the moment of truth confronts me... but, like I said, it'll have to be confronting me tomorrow 'cause today I'm too scared to view the photo of him.
P.S. It is kind of ironic that I am excited that he took my advice and banked his sperm (with the idea that I might be able to do an IUI while he is away) and yet I don't even know if he's even attractive enough for me to want to make babies with. Typical me: putting the "cart before the horse."
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