- Winston Churchill
Yesterday was filled with the same hope and happiness that I have been experiencing for the past two months - ever since C. had come into my life - I didn't expect my day to end any differently than it had begun.
But it did - end differently.
In one mere moment, from just before I opened the email C. sent me, when I had that feeling of hopeful joy that you experience when you are a little kid about to walk around the corner to see the Christmas tree and all of the wonderful gifts that Santa has brought you, to the moment after reading his message, when my hope-filled happiness turned to that feeling of helpless, sadness that comes with the cruel news that someone dear to you has died.
After I read the email that C. had written all I can remember saying, over and over, is, "I am not giving up!" I said it to the Devil, aggressively and determinedly, "I am not giving up!" I said it to God, forcefully and assuredly, "I am not giving up!" And I said it to myself, loudly and clearly, "I AM NOT GIVING UP!"
I'd be lying if I said I was anything other than confused, disheartened, and profusely sad at this time. I'm not sure how I pick myself up from this ash heap of sorrow, but I will find a way because, "I am not giving up!"
Dreaming Miracles has been an amazing journey for me. And although I can not say how I go on from here, where I turn, who I turn to, my story is not over. I have repeatedly said that I will know when I have come to the end and I know I am not even close to being there yet.
As I wrote from the start, I was created by the Creator to create anew. Because I am created in the image of God I too have the power to manifest my desire from nothing but the pureness of my intention.
God, as the bible tells us, didn't create the heavens and earth and all the "the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground," in one day, it took Him, what, six days? Six days, and that was God!
What I am trying to say, is that even for God manifesting His desire didn't happen in the blink of an eye, it took time. I'm just a simple ol' human being with the same desire to create something from nothing that God held in his heart. It might take me more time to do it, but it doesn't mean it can't be done.
I said my Dreaming Miracles journey has been an amazing one for me and really I think it has because I am learning things about myself that I didn't know: that I am faith-filled, that I am mentally strong, that when I decide that I truly want something I have courage and forbearance to persevere in the face of whatever dragon is put in my path! That I am not going to give up believing that my dreams will come true.
It is easy to believe in something you see, but the test of faith - which I believe is the great lesson that I am to learn in this life - is to believe without the benefit of seeing.
And as Proverbs 17:3 says, "Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the LORD tests the heart." My heart is being tested. But I believe that God is testing my heart for a purpose that is beyond my understanding NOW, but that in the end will be revealed to be for a positive result.
The role of faith in achieving great (miraculous!) things is explained well here:
"Examples of faith. Hebrews chapter 11 is known as the “faith chapter” because in it great deeds of faith are described. By faith Abel offered a pleasing sacrifice to the Lord (v. 4); by faith Noah prepared the ark in a time when rain was unknown (v. 7); by faith Abraham left his home and obeyed God’s command to go he knew not where, then willingly offered up his only son (vv. 8-10, 17); by faith Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt (vv. 23-29); by faith Rahab received the spies of Israel and saved her life (v. 31). Many more heroes of the faith are mentioned “who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength*; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies” (vv. 33-34). Clearly, the existence of faith is demonstrated by action."
I am a simple person filled up with Faith. Through Faith, although I do sometimes feel beaten down on my journey, I also begin to feel reinvigorated. I am ready to slay the dragons and overcome any other impediments that come before me.
This is MY quest; the desire to succeed has been forged in fire. Just as a hammer and high heat are used to forge instruments of iron, God uses trials to develop genuine faith and strength of character in us.
It is my belief that Dreaming Miracles will, in the end, be a testament to God's development of my strength and character. And from that development my dreams, my miracles, will be the fulfillment of His longing, His desire for my life.
*my highlight
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