Decisions

It is always your next move.
Napoleon Hill

A few post back I wrote about the dilemma I have been feeling regarding what exactly my next course of action should be regarding my frozen eggs. I'm sure you would assume that prior to even beginning the process of freezing my eggs I would have thought my way through what my options are. And your assumption would be correct, sort of.

The BIG problem I've always faced in this "whole thing" is that I have not wanted to go the route of donor sperm, or I should say, anonymous donor sperm bank. I guess it's a block I have and I don't think I can overcome it. What makes perfect sense for one person doesn't necessarily make sense for someone else. I basically just don't want my kids to have thirty (or more!) step-siblings which is a distinct possibility going with the sperm bank option.

And the moral issues really were brought to my attention front and center this past Father's Day. I'm not sure how it happened. I think I read one article with a bunch of links to other articles, this one in particular struck me as to how complicated it can be for all parties involved - and how un-ideal the donor sperm bank option is for me.

I've tried to think, is there any guy out there who I could possibly see as a.) an acceptable candidate, b.) willing, and c.) carries with him the least amount of potential baggage? Let me tell you, it's not easy to meet even two of those criteria!

But there is one guy who I have gone back and forth on in the could-he-be-a-possible-candidate game. Oh my word, he's got some baggage, but on Monday evening I finally bit the bullet and called a friend of mine who knows how to get in touch with him (I lost touch years ago). I didn't tell my friend the reason why, I just asked him to get his phone number. I haven't got it yet, but something is in motion.

Believe me, I've got more to talk about on all of this but I'll leave it at: I made a first move.