I had made an appointment with a fertility specialist over a month ago because of G.G. You see, when G.G. had told me he would have the baby with me I thought - because he lives so far away - that I would have to have his sperm deposited at a clinic where he lives and sent to the clinic where I live and then have a doctor do an IUI - intrauterine insemination - on me. Logistically, it was a nightmare, but I was just like, it's only another "dragon."
Then, of course, as I said in my previous post, G.G. bailed on me. Wasn't holding my breath, so I didn't get too badly hurt. But then the question was, should I cancel this really hard-to-get appointment with the fertility doctor or not? I mean, did I really need him, after all, if I wasn't going to have to have G.G. do a sperm deposit, have it cryopreserved, and then have to have the IUI done? I debated canceling the appointment, but ended up deciding to keep it.
But there was another huge thing weighing on my mind in regards to this fertility clinic and the doctor. I didn't know what their "cut-off" age was. My Chinese acupuncturist was the one who had referred me to this particular clinic because she said the doctor had gotten a 54 year old woman pregnant. But I have enough knowledge of fertility clinics - though I know I could use more! - to know that I might need to lie about my age. I didn't trust that just going in and telling them I was 50 was going to allow me to see the doctor.
So, at first, when I did contact the clinic, I said I was forty. But I knew that I was going to need to show them my blood work and other stuff (how did that 60 year old woman who got fertility treatment and got pregnant lie about everything? I guess if you have the money to pay out-of-pocket you can, huh?) and decided to get my GP's office to call... and the cut-off age was 50! And actually, for most fertility clinics, that is more a rarity than a norm to have the cut-off be so "late."
I decided to keep the appointment. I had brought my most recent blood work (I have a photo of that lab work - the day I was ovulating according to my OV Watch - at the bottom of the page) and when the nurse brought me in to the doctor I saw he had it in front of him on his desk.
As doctors go, especially knowing the fertility "industry," he seemed like a nice, good one. Of course, one of the first things he said to me was that he recommends that woman over age 43 use donor eggs. I was like, dude (though I'm sure I said, doctor!) you have my lab work there in your hands, you can see my fertility is perfectly good RIGHT NOW! He goes on to explain that 10% of older woman have kids with Down Syndrome (I had actually thought it was a higher number than that) and other complications, etc.
Later, when I talked to Dr. M., my GP, she said - when the doctor gave me those Down Syndrome stats - that I should have told him younger woman have more kids with Down Syndrome than older woman (I don't know that stat, but I trust my GP to know!).
But when this fertility doctor, Dr. K., told me all the "shit" I was like, I know you have an ethical obligation to tell me everything you are telling me, but it's just going in one ear and out the other. Yeah, I really did say that!
I did ask him about the 54 year old woman my acupuncturist had told me about and he said that she had used donor eggs. It really would have been "cool" to know that she got pregnant using her own eggs, but it didn't affect me - my goal - that she hadn't.
Several times during our conversation he would say, "I'll try" and every time he did I would add, "And I'll succeed!" I think that happened three or four times. I told him that I don't know what kind of patients he's dealt with up to that point in his long career, but he had yet to meet anyone like me.
And when he walked me to the check-out, before he left, I whispered in his ear that he would be lucky if he got to be a part of my miracle! And he just told me, "That's the best part of my job."
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