To C. or Not to C.

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." - Kahlil Gibran

C. finally responded to the lengthy email I had sent him earlier. I guess I got an answer to my question of why he changed his mind, but not really what the circumstances he actually went through to make him do so. I didn't get an answer to my question of what he really thinks of me. But at least he wrote and then I got my chance to write back! It wasn't pretty! 

We'll see if I've scared him off for good or not... maybe that would be the best thing anyway... if I can manage at this time to take a second punch to my gut, because at this point just the thought of not being able to communicate with him would be another great loss. 

The P.S. in the email I wrote back to him might be TMI, I deleted (with the blank lines) some of the more graphic sexual language used (by him and by me), or just information that I can't reveal for various reasons (I'm trying to be as truthful as I can in this blog but I can't reveal everything!). I do try to give as much detail as I can just to give you that much more awareness into how I actually feel and react to C. (and to everything else going on in this Dreaming Miracles process - the good and bad!).

I'll keep you posted if I do ever hear back from C.