Beating Statistics

When I start thinking about statistics I'm led to one person: my father. And one of the best legacies my dad left me was his belief in beating statistics. He died from an accident at age 75, but he had lived those many years with a rare life-threatening genetic heart condition that could have killed him at any time long before.

My dad was all about beating the odds; overcoming the statistics regarding his health issue, and on his terms. How? He was pro-active. He was a problem-solver. A researcher. A competitor. And a creative, out-side the box thinker. And he did the things he needed to do: healthy living, nutrient-rich foods, vitamin supplements, exercise, visualization, meditation, positive thinking, living in the moment, being optimistic and joy-filled, goal-oriented and hard-working, and (probably what I most need to learn) once having done all of those things that were under his control, letting go of the outcome.

So, now, from my father's example, what I never try to do is automatically assume the improbability of getting pregnant after age 44 no matter what the statistics tell me, but rather I think of how can I make it most probable that I can get pregnant for as long after 45 as possible. Within all those statistics of failure you have to notice there is a small percentage of success. Who are those people? How did they get into that statistically small group? That's the only statistics I concentrate on. And I do that by following in my father's footsteps, by his pro-active example.

Letting go of the outcome is, like I said, where I really have my struggle. I'm constantly thinking about what I want: finding a husband and being able to get pregnant at my age and have healthy babies. I'm tired of it. But I didn't know how to stop myself from clinging to my dream rather than dreaming it and releasing it. I know my dream needs its FREEDOM! It needs to be let go.

I started saying, "let go, and let God," every time a thought came in my head about what I lacked; all those little moments of doubt that flew around my head like a fly needing to be swatted away. But it didn't work. The flies kept buzzing overhead. Then I thought of something that might be better; what I considered a more productive and ultimately, more fulfilling way for me to feel good letting go. I'm "offering it up."

You see, there are two people, one is my sister's best friend, L. who may be dying of breast cancer. She is deep in the battle. Her sword is drawn, but can she muster the energy (she already has the courage) to pierce the heart of her enemy before he kills her? The other person is a seventeen year old boy S., that same sister's son, who is struggling with life now - that place where you go from making A's and B's to D's and F's and the things that mattered - don't.

Those two, L. and S., need to be lifted up in prayer. My small way of doing that is to "offer up" to their benefit, whatever feelings of hurt, heartache, fear or longings regarding "my dreams" rise to the surface.

So, now, every time I find myself trying to cling to those "let go" moments, I say L. and S.'s names knowing that my dreams are now attached to theirs.