*Deep Sigh*

"Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, there is a series of obstacles, and the bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles. Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else." ~ Brian Tracy

Well, I'm just gonna let screenshots and voice recordings tell this part of the story...

And then my recorded thoughts from that moment when I felt like my whole family got wiped out in one fell swoop, to later in the night; where I, most surprisingly to me, ended up. 

The following posted on YouTube...

First thoughts...

More time to think thoughts...

Oh, no, not again, thoughts...

And here is this song - it's even before my time! - the Five Stairsteps singing O-o-h Child a song that somehow became my youngest niece and my song, "our song" when she was probably 12 years old... she's 27 now! 

This a good version of the O-o-h Child

So, I'm not going to be doing anything with what little I have left - the two immature eggs and the germinal vesicle cell (GVC) - for at least another two-three years. Yep, I'll be 61 then, but unless my health deteriorates for some reason I think I can be "okayed" again by at least my doctors. And I'm not worried about the age thing. My mom is going to turn 92 in one month and she's pretty darn with it - she finds the words to finish my sentences because I'm too slow for her! - and loved enormously by all her grand-children - the oldest 40, the youngest 19 - and her great-grandchildren - the oldest 10, the youngest three all 1.

I don't know about life... but I'm feeling good about taking an extended break from this long, long, journey. And I'm hopeful that in the next few years fertility medical advances and technology will happily coincide with my return to the dream. And I did find out that God rewarded Job! So, we'll see...