What I Learned in the Big City

I'm back from my short getaway to the big city and although nothing earth-shattering happened it was great to eat trendy food in trendy restaurants and drink hip drinks in hip bars. And I learned a few things that might be important for me attaining a successful relationship in the future.

My first lesson came when I went to one of those beautiful-people malls to peruse the kind of upscale stores that you only find in big cities or resort towns. While there I passed an Apple store and thought I'd check out what all the fuss is regarding the Apple iPad. After I put my name on the list to get a demonstration I looked up and found an interesting guy looking at me. Interesting as in, he had pretty green eyes, brown bed-head hair and a good five o'clock shadow a couple hours before five o'clock. Oh, and he was carrying a backpack but seemed about forty years old.

So what do I do when I look up and see a cute guy looking at me? I leave. I didn't leave the store, but I moved to another part of it. I think I just felt caught off guard; I wasn't expecting someone to be looking at me! Anyway, after a moment I thought, "What the hell am I doing? What I should have done is smile at him and say hello!" So, I kinda go back over in his direction but by that time the moment was kind of over.

I really don't even know what the guy was thinking about me, who knows, maybe I had something on my face, but what it shows me is that I'm not taking advantage, or even practicing, when I do find myself given an opening. Note to self: be more AWARE! And as a side note, I have to say, that the Apple store seems like a good place to check out guys - the store was hopping, at like, two in the afternoon, and I'd say that 90% of the people in there were men.

The second lesson I probably need to consider was given to me by my sister's friend who told me, while sipping cocktails at the W Hotel, that I should really give Match.com a try.

I've never tried Match because one time a friend, who uses it, was explaining how she looks up ex-boyfriends, people from high school etc. to see if they're on. Well, it kind of freaked me out that people can cyber-stalk you there. I don't know, it just seemed weird to me and turned me off. But this friend of my sisters said that she's been on it for many years and had met some nice guys though none had panned out until a year ago when she met a guy who she is really happy with.

Anyway, her point to me is that I shouldn't care what other people think about me. I shouldn't care about what they know, or think they know about me. I should just be open to trying whatever it takes when it comes to finding love. And that is so true. When I delve into the psychology of me I find so many things that stop me from being free to just be myself.

It's kind of strange because on the one hand, I'm very independent-minded and have a pretty free-spirited kind of personality, and on the other hand, I care what people think about me. I feel an "ugh" moment coming on. Ugh.