Slaying Dragons

In Joseph Campbell's book, The Power of Myth, he delves deeply into what he calls, "the hero's journey."

He explains that the basic motif of the universal hero's journey - "is leaving one condition and finding the source of life to bring you forth into a richer or mature condition." He notes what all the myths of the hero have to deal with is "transformations of consciousness of one kind or another; that you have been thinking one way and you now have to think a different way."

He goes on to say that the usual hero adventure begins with "someone from whom something has been taken, or who feels there's something lacking in the normal experiences available or permitted to the members of his society. This person then takes off on a series of adventures beyond the ordinary, either to recover what has been lost or to discover some life-giving elixir. It's usually a cycle, a going and a returning."

In numerous myth stories the hero must slay a dragon (or something equally as frightening) while on his quest in order to succeed at what he is attempting. As Campbell explains, regarding myth stories, "All of these dragon killings and threshold crossings have to do with getting past being stuck."

When Campbell was asked what the significance of the trials, and tests and ordeals of the hero were, he answered, “If you want to put it in terms of intentions, the trials are designed to see to it that the intending hero should be really a hero. Is he really a match for this task? Can he overcome the dangers? Does he have the courage, the knowledge, the capacity, to enable him to serve?"

Right now I am on my 'hero's journey." My quest is to attain something seemingly unattainable. I am trying to leave the condition of my present life - the loneliness of being single and childless - and finding the source of life to bring me forth into a richer or mature condition - being married and a mother.

My journey of "transformed consciousness" began at least two years ago when I had been thinking one way - that I was forty-four and it was too late for me to find a husband and have a baby - to thinking a different way - that it wasn't too late.

I have now taken off on my adventure "beyond the ordinary." I'm am leaving my old belief system of woe-is-me and lack. I am on the quest which ultimately will tell me who I am and what I am made of. Do I have the courage, the knowledge, the capacity to follow my dreams, to attain my dreams?

On my journey I will have plenty of "dragons" to slay; one of the biggest and fiercest is Self Doubt. The children of Self Doubt, Inaction and Fear, must also be battled into submission. I will be tested. I have been tested. And I am finding that the dream is worthy of the quest.

Signs

It took two days, but I'll take this and this as my signs. I saw both of these articles today while doing my morning news reading on the internet. I clicked on a news article and when I finished my eye caught, over on the side of the page, the headline about John Travolta and Kelly Preston. Later, while reading a different news article I saw something equally as random (maybe random isn't the best word usage in this case, if you know what I mean, so I'll say, interesting), clicked on that link, which in turn led me to the older woman/younger man article. So, anyway, that's how signs are, they're often revealed in convoluted ways. The key to seeing signs is asking to receive them, believing that you will receive them, and being aware of receiving them.

I took the older woman/younger man article as a sign because it is so "out there." It seems like such an impossibility for love to happen between them, and yet it did. And plus, she's forty-three and pregnant!

For Crying Out Loud

I cried tonight. Just kinda broke down. I had been looking at a website that had a bunch of people who have exactly what I don't have and I felt sad for me. Sad that I have a dream that I don't know how to realize. That kind of overwhelming sad where I just doubted everything. I get this way every three or four months. I go along being as positive as I can in my outlook, in my faith, and then I just kind of 'hit the wall." I usually ask God to send me a sign to keep me strong in my faith, to help me believe, to know, that everything will work out. I'll look for it tomorrow, or maybe it will come to me in a dream tonight. I'm open. My mom reassured me. She told me how much I mean to her. It's as if I was a little kid again and she kissed my boo boo and made it all better. I'll pick myself up and go around the wall the next time, or over it. I'm open.

Eskimos and Suffering

In the introduction to The Power of Myth, by Joseph Campbell, there is mention of Igjugarjuk, a shaman of a Caribou Eskimo tribe in northern Canada, who said that the only true wisdom “lives far from mankind, out in the great loneliness, and can be reached only through suffering. Privation and suffering alone open the mind to all that is hidden to others.”

It is quotes like this one by Igjugaruk that remind me that all these years of my being denied the thing I want most in the world: to be married and to have a child of my own, is a suffering, yes, but it is not without its opposite, which is a blessing.

The blessing of gaining an understanding of the depth of my strength, the blessing of having conviction in my dreams, and the blessing of realizing the creative energy that exists in me, the power to create the world of my desire, is the same creative energy that has created everything, everywhere, always.

Why is that important? It’s importance lies in the knowledge that now I will always know of my strength. I will always have the convictions of my dreams to follow, and I will always know that the Creator created me to create anew. Whenever I am faced with uncertainties, doubts, fears, hurts and heartaches, I will have the blessing of my suffering to thank for overcoming them. I serve the world more having had my privations than I serve it not having had them.