Well, I have to say, my expectations for 2013 were really high and of they weren't met.
I definitely feel like my intuition failed me, but I'm only learning what having (and using!) my intuition is all about so I guess I should cut myself at least a small break on that. I do feel like sometimes my hopes' voice is louder than my inner-knowledges' voice and that can lead me astray. But I do want to continue to listen to what I think my inner-voice is telling me. I do want to try to keep working on my intuition - learning and practicing it - as if I were studying a foreign language - which, of course, to me it is.
I go into this new year, 2014, with the same hope and faith I have gone into each of the years I have been writing this blog. And actually, in a lot of ways, despite the passing of the years, I feel more hopeful and faith-filled than I ever have. I still have no idea how in the world any of what I dream of, what I desire, has any way of coming to fruition. If I was still thinking of it in human terms I would probably just lie in a darkened room curled up in a ball, but thankfully, more than I ever have in my life, I think of most everything in God's terms, and that is why my hope remains high, how my faith still fills me up and keeps me strong in my beliefs, because those terms, God's terms, are the terms upon which I can't even fathom how to fathom; those are the terms where any thing, every thing, is possible.
And I did start my 2014 with a really needed-to-hear story that the person telling the story had absolutely no idea I needed to hear!
My niece was giving a New Year's Day brunch and I asked one of her mother's friend's (actually a family friend) what she did for her New Years Eve. And this friend said that she drove about an hour's drive away to meet a girl from her high school days. I asked which girl in her (and my sister's) class did she visit (though they were seniors when I was a freshman I knew almost all of their friends). She told me the girl's name and I had no idea who she was - which I thought was strange because we went to a small Catholic school and I thought I would surely know the girl. Anyway, our friend continued by giving me a quick synopsis of this girl's life saying, "She married later in life and had a baby at forty-five…" and then most everything else she said quickly about this girl went in one ear and out the other, because all I could focus on was, yay, another purely random story about someone finding love and having a biological child of their own so much later than the "norm."
I think it's stories like that, that come at me when I'm least expecting them, that keep me just focused on still being "in the game." Granted this woman was much younger than me when she had her baby - five years younger! - but as long as nature is working with me - and I feel that it is doing the best it possibly can - I just stay focused on the positives and the possibilities and leave the other stuff to the non-dreamers of miraculous endings and beginnings!
Have a happy, joyous, and miraculous 2014!
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