Trouble in Paradise

"For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour." ~ Mary Kay Ash

What has happened I don't know how to comprehend, but somehow, I have been been lost in paradise... 

Subject: I'm so sorry

From: C
To: L

Dear L., I'm so sorry to be sending you this email rather than seeing you in _________ in person.  I've been thinking.  

It seems to me that our attraction to each other has become increasingly sexual and lustful, rather than based on love and emotion as it should be if it is going to last.  You have done nothing wrong, but it seems to me that rather serious differences on some pretty basic matters have surfaced.  I am the last person I know to find fault with anyone's opinions, but I hear warning bells going off laud and clear.  These two considerations together give me serious pause to continue. So ...

I will not, because I cannot in good conscience, come to _________ ... to conceive with you a child, with what I see as the clouded prospects for us personally.  Secondly, with great regret and pain, I withdraw the implied  or expressed promises I have made over the past year ... because I think it is in the best interest of both of us to do so.  I am leaving here shortly to make a trip for a couple of weeks, during which no one will be able to contact me.  After that, it is my present intention to get to _________, find an apartment, and get ready for the fall.  I may change my mind, however, because I have not yet been able to get rid of all the crap in my mind.  I alternate between steeling myself to get on with my life to just being a bum for a while.  I'm still screwed up and I know it better than anyone.  

I am extremely aware of how much I owe you for your comfort and support during this past year, and six months ago when I was involuntarily extended I would have gone off the deep end without your caring.  No one else was close enough to know what I was feeling, and I was not about to share.  

If you have not stopped reading before now, please let me assure you that I did not get to this place lightly, and I am not about to change my mind.  You have had enough disappointments from me.  After whatever reaction you experience from this email, I shall understand whatever your response may be.  I wish you well and hope that your adjustment be quick.  

I shall never forget you.  

C.

And here you can read my response to this turn of events!!!