The New Journey

 "We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey." ~ Stephen Covey

This morning, Friday, April 21, 2022, at approximately 9:45am, CST, the new spiritual journey of human life begins. 

Six of my nine oocytes - those oocytes that I froze 12 years ago right before I turned 46 years old! - will be thawed and fertilized. I can barely wrap my head around getting to these final few chapters! 

Of course my mind wants to be anxious, fearful, worried about what results, but I will not let it. I have always believed that this journey was about God and me. And no matter what happens I have been the faithful servant to the journey my soul wanted me to take. And I am grateful for that gift. 

But as I write this post mere hours before 10,000 x 10,000 miracles continues on and manifest in this world; on this earth, I have the faith of Job! I know God is with me and I am just constantly staying focused on what God is able to do for me; what his will is, really.  

I had, three months ago, finally felt "The Swirl" around me and because of all the signs I've asked for - and received! - over 20 years and more, I can only say, as crazy as it may seem, I would be more surprised if I didn’t end up with a baby than I would if I did! 

I'm reminded of what Steve Jobs said about "connecting the dots backwards.” And successfully completing this journey I feel like it's going to look almost unfathomable! But that’s exactly what miracles do look like! 

Remember, 12 years ago I named my blog Dreaming Miracles for a reason. And that reason is more upon me now than it ever has been! Today is a JOY day!

One More Time

 "When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.' " ~ Unknown

This video post was "randomly" placed in my YouTube feed when I got on late last night to watch some of my main subscription channels. In other words, it has nothing to with any channels I subscribe to, it was put in as a "short" as maybe something I would be "interested" in? 

Well, finally YouTube actually had me figured out and put the right video in front of me at the right time... just as I'm working harder on my faith than I ever have before because this - close to getting all the answers for the end of my "journey of a thousand miles" - is when I'm fighting dragons left and right to their death to protect my belief in my miracles; my belief that God has walked this journey with me and will see me make it successfully to the last step just as he did when I took the first one!

This video - and, unbelievably, the comments section! - is what every woman hoping for a miraculous child late in life should watch to remind themselves that miracles do happen; and that Abraham's Sarah led the way! Remember, Sarah lol'd at the Angel's message, but God had the last laugh!

Pre-2007

Prior to the Fall of 2007 I was, according to the psychiatrist I visited to get my rx for anti-depressants, a glass-is-half-empty kinda girl. This kindly old Cuban immigrant doctor (whose wife of 55 years was loosing her fight to Alzheimer's) would practically implore me to see my life as being a glass half full. I would breakdown and cry. How could I see my life positively when I was so broken-hearted over being alone and over 40 with no prospects for the things I wanted most: a husband and children of my own?

It didn't help that I was working at a job that gave me little satisfaction and even less money. In addition, I was plagued on and off with debilitating headaches. I wanted desperately to change my way of thinking; to believe in the possibility that I could be happy, but at 43 years old I felt only hopelessness.

I mean marriage, of course, could happen at any age; there is no "biological clock" that tells your body that you can not be joined in wedded bliss, but in our current realm of scientific knowledge, there is a very loud clanging, that reverberates loudly, telling a woman over 40 that her child-bearing years may be down to days, if not already completed. It was a devastating feeling, one that anti-depressants didn't seem to help.

My counselor would try to tell me that there still was hope, that it could all work out, and as much as I wanted to believe him, I whined back, "I'm 43 years old!" He encouraged me to find out more, to learn whether or not someone 43 could get pregnant and that led me here and here which I found to be very informative, but more importantly, hopeful.
But the best article I came across was this one. I loved it. I love that she didn't even get married until she was 45!