There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle - Albert Einstein
L., I mentioned, was my oldest sister's dear friend who was fighting stage 4 breast cancer. With deep sorrow I report that L. has lost her nearly two year battle to cancer. L. was 54 years old.
I grew close to L., not because I personally knew her well (I had only met her a few times while visiting my sister), but because I knew of her well. My sister had such great admiration for L. that I had heard numerous stories about L.'s life and her successes. She was a tall, smart, tough, strong, charismatic and entrepreneurial women - the kind of person I, myself, want to be.
In that earlier post I mentioned that when I was having difficulty in staying positive and hopeful regarding my dreams, when I was struggling with doubt and fears and heartache, I began "offering up" my longings to benefit L. There were many offerings on her behalf, and because of that, because I tried to use my struggles to lift her out of hers, my connection to her grew. As her story became attached to my story, I became attached to her.
Later, in thinking of her death, I thought, "A lot of good it did for me to 'offer up' for L. It didn't save her." That's what I had wanted. I wanted her to have her miracle! I was rooting for her seemingly impossible dream to happen the same way I was rooting for my own. When she didn't get her miracle it made me lose a little faith in attaining mine; the realization that not everyone gets to have their miracle manifest.
Part of me feels like my "offering up" to L. was in vain, but another part of me believes that it had to have done some good. Of course I won't know. All I know is that a positive idea came to me regarding offering my struggles up to benefit L., I followed through on the idea, in faith I have to believe that there was a reason for it, that in the end, somehow, L. was benefited.
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