Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Weather

"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Well, I'm having my last ovulation of 2014 and once again it seems as if it is all just a waste.

I mean, I can work at keeping my fertility going as strong as it can be, but in the end, if I can't find a guy to have sex with when I'm ovulating I don't even get the chance of seeing if I could get pregnant. 

I've never - not once in my entire life! - had the opportunity of trying to get pregnant! I've never had sex even close to when I was ovulating. Mostly because I hardly ever get to have sex (I didn't have sex then!). And why is that? Why is it that I hardly ever get the chance to have sex? I guess, in part, because I hardly ever meet a guy that I want to have sex with! And, yeah, that's just meet a guy... I didn't even say anything about a boyfriend... I don't even know what boyfriend is... my mind can hardly imagine the feeling and emotions that go along with having a boyfriend...

I'm just so frustrated right now... to the point of getting a bad attitude. I'm just tired of wanting something that I don't know how not to want! The longing has been with me so long that I don't know how to live without it. And I'm not even sure I'm supposed to live without it yet... I don't know much of anything anymore... 

Six months ago it felt like it was "raining men" around me... now, once again, I feel like I'm in a drought... 

Ugh, I just need some good weather!!!

2 comments:

  1. I had my TL a little more than a year ago when my third child was born via c-section. I was not told ANYTHING about the possible side effects of having this proceedure. Since then I have experienced heavy bleeding lasting sometimes 3 weeks out of the month, weight gain, severe mood swings. Severe cramping, changes to my libido, severe depression accompanied by suicidal thoughts, headaches, migraines, many new symptoms & older issues are now exacerbated. The father of two of my children doesn't want me anymore. I've become too much of a pain in the ass I guess. We don't talk. We don't sleep in the same bed. I think he might really think I am crazy... & maybe I am. I feel crazy a lot of the time.
    I'm unpredictable. I feel so angry about the whole thing & now what was once a mild fear of doctors has exploded into full on white coat syndrome that causes me to have a panic attack/hypertensive emergency (severe increase in blood pressure) whenever I have to deal with them. I'm not sure what to do... I fear the next time I have to see a doctor I'll have a stroke or a heart attack from the stress & anxiety of it... what do I do? I take my time and keep searching on internet looking for natural healing that how I came across Dr Itua herbal center website and I was so excited when Dr Itua told me to calm down that he will help me with his natural remedy I put my hope on him so I purchase his herbal medicines which was shipped to my address I used it as prescribed guess what? I'm totally healed my cramp pain is gone completely I also used his Anti Bacteria herbal medicines it's works for me very well I want anyone with health problem to contact Dr Itua herbal center for any kind diseases remedies such as Parkinson, Herpes, ALS, MS, Diabetes, Hepatitis, Hiv/Aids,Cancers, Men & Women Infertility, I got his email address  drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com he has any kind of herbal remedies for women & men also for our babes. I really miss my Hunni...he's a fantastic father & a good man. He doesn't deserve this. I feel like an empty shell of who I used to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sorry I didn't see your note before now! I'm terrible at looking to see if there is a message! Ugh! And almost exactly a year ago! It sounds like a lot of Life piled on you at one time and that really is overwhelming! I'm glad you found a healer! Thanks for sharing his info! I hope this response finds you in a better place!🙏

      Delete