"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame." ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Well, I'm having my last ovulation of 2014 and once again it seems as if it is all just a waste.
I mean, I can work at keeping my fertility going as strong as it can be, but in the end, if I can't find a guy to have sex with when I'm ovulating I don't even get the chance of seeing if I could get pregnant.
I've never - not once in my entire life! - had the opportunity of trying to get pregnant! I've never had sex even close to when I was ovulating. Mostly because I hardly ever get to have sex (I didn't have sex then!). And why is that? Why is it that I hardly ever get the chance to have sex? I guess, in part, because I hardly ever meet a guy that I want to have sex with! And, yeah, that's just meet a guy... I didn't even say anything about a boyfriend... I don't even know what boyfriend is... my mind can hardly imagine the feeling and emotions that go along with having a boyfriend...
I'm just so frustrated right now... to the point of getting a bad attitude. I'm just tired of wanting something that I don't know how not to want! The longing has been with me so long that I don't know how to live without it. And I'm not even sure I'm supposed to live without it yet... I don't know much of anything anymore...
Six months ago it felt like it was "raining men" around me... now, once again, I feel like I'm in a drought...
Ugh, I just need some good weather!!!
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I had my TL a little more than a year ago when my third child was born via c-section. I was not told ANYTHING about the possible side effects of having this proceedure. Since then I have experienced heavy bleeding lasting sometimes 3 weeks out of the month, weight gain, severe mood swings. Severe cramping, changes to my libido, severe depression accompanied by suicidal thoughts, headaches, migraines, many new symptoms & older issues are now exacerbated. The father of two of my children doesn't want me anymore. I've become too much of a pain in the ass I guess. We don't talk. We don't sleep in the same bed. I think he might really think I am crazy... & maybe I am. I feel crazy a lot of the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm unpredictable. I feel so angry about the whole thing & now what was once a mild fear of doctors has exploded into full on white coat syndrome that causes me to have a panic attack/hypertensive emergency (severe increase in blood pressure) whenever I have to deal with them. I'm not sure what to do... I fear the next time I have to see a doctor I'll have a stroke or a heart attack from the stress & anxiety of it... what do I do? I take my time and keep searching on internet looking for natural healing that how I came across Dr Itua herbal center website and I was so excited when Dr Itua told me to calm down that he will help me with his natural remedy I put my hope on him so I purchase his herbal medicines which was shipped to my address I used it as prescribed guess what? I'm totally healed my cramp pain is gone completely I also used his Anti Bacteria herbal medicines it's works for me very well I want anyone with health problem to contact Dr Itua herbal center for any kind diseases remedies such as Parkinson, Herpes, ALS, MS, Diabetes, Hepatitis, Hiv/Aids,Cancers, Men & Women Infertility, I got his email address drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com he has any kind of herbal remedies for women & men also for our babes. I really miss my Hunni...he's a fantastic father & a good man. He doesn't deserve this. I feel like an empty shell of who I used to be.
sorry I didn't see your note before now! I'm terrible at looking to see if there is a message! Ugh! And almost exactly a year ago! It sounds like a lot of Life piled on you at one time and that really is overwhelming! I'm glad you found a healer! Thanks for sharing his info! I hope this response finds you in a better place!🙏
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