Matchmaker

"Love is a friendship set to music."

~ E. Joseph Cossman

I'm a matchmaker at heart. It's probably because in my heart of hearts I wish that someone would play matchmaker in my life. But matchmaker is an art and most people don't have the intuitive nature to make matches that are successful. I think I do. In one way or another I've influenced the lives - meetings and then marriage - of at least seven couples. Some of it wasn't pure matchmaking, but if I hadn't been an instigator of the fate, the matches would never have happened. Last night I specifically set up a match.

Two weeks before I had been at my pre-op appointment for my knee operation and it was about 4:00 p.m. on a Friday afternoon when I met with the anesthesiologist and had mentioned to him the name of a guy I went to grade school and high school with who was an anesthesiologist at that hospital. This doctor said that my school mate, A.P., had gotten an offer he couldn't refuse and was now working out of a local surgical center. We talked about him for a minute or two longer and then I went on to conclude the rest of my appointment.

By 4:30 I finished my pre-op appointment and started my drive home. I was about to go one way and at the last minute decided to go another. Soon I came upon a small, trendy bar that I like, but hadn't been to in awhile, and I thought to myself, it's Friday, it's Happy Hour time and why not stop inside and have a cold beer. So that's what I did.

I walked into this little bar and the first person I see upon entering is, A.P., the classmate I had just been talking about a half hour earlier. And by now you know my feeling about coincidences... there are none... only synchronicity! He's sitting by himself so I pull up a bar stool and order my beer. He said he stopped in to have a beer on his way home from work. We talk about this and that and he gets a text that one of the woman he used to work with at the previous hospital, a friend of his, is going to drop by to meet him there. Soon enough she comes in and sits down with us and I'm happy that I'm out, getting to meet new people. Shortly thereafter, another woman, also a co-worker of theirs, joins us at the bar. This woman is probably closer to my age and she's the opposite of me, petite, blond, blue-eyed and outgoing. She seems really sweet though and all of the sudden I have a thought about my dentist, Dr. T.

Dr. T. worked in practice with my father (who was dentist) and I have known him for nearly twenty years. He had been married to his high school sweetheart. It was a marriage I thought would last a lifetime. It didn't. I had been living away from this area for so long I wasn't around when his marriage was falling apart. I was only aware that it was. He's now been divorced for probably six years.

I had only known Dr. T. as the co-worker of my father until my dad retired and he then became my dentist. It was a strange transition for me; having had one dentist for forty years - my father - who was so experienced and fast he had your procedure finished before you even had a chance to worry about what he was going to be doing - to Dr. T. who, with half my father's age and half his experience, was slow and methodical, yet whose touch was soft and gentle, a trait I can't say characterized my father's hands or speed.

Anyway, out of the blue, having nothing to do with the conversation going on between the other companions there, I say to this woman, Maria, "Do you like football?" She's like, where did that come from? And I explain to her that I know a single guy who I thought I would like to set her up with and he likes football. She tells me, "yes" she does enjoy football. So, I let her know that the guy I would like to set her up with is my dentist and I have a dental cleaning coming up in two weeks time and would she be interested in being set up with him on a blind date? At this point I have no idea if Dr. T would be interested in being set up on a blind date! I do know that when I had asked my hygienist six months earlier if Dr. T was dating, she said that she had tried to set him up with a friend of hers and it didn't work out - Dr. T. liked her friend, but her friend didn't like him! As my hygienist put it, her friend said talking with him "took too much work."

Maria asked me, if he was so good why didn't I get together with him? Definitely a valid question posed in such a situation. I told her he was more like a brother to me. I mean I know my father, even with three sons of his own, viewed Dr. T. like his fourth one. She gave me her business card. And two weeks passed. I had my dental appointment and when Dr. T. came in I asked him straightaway if he would be interested in a blind date? He hesitated. I can only imagine how complicated it is when you want to not be alone, but you also have your job, your kids, their extracurricular activities and your professional organizations already on the books. But then he said, "Sure. Let me see what my schedules like."

When I called Maria (whom I only met that one time!) I had to remind her who I was and ask her if she was still interested in going on the blind date. She was surprised that I had followed through on it all, but she said she could meet this weekend and then it might be three more weekends before she could meet again. I told her I would see if Dr. T. could meet this weekend. I found out he could and it was perfect because he would be passing by the little bar we were to meet at on his way to another engagement (a professional group dinner) later in the evening. Woot! Woot! Things were falling nicely into place.

As the meeting drew closer I felt like I was the one going on the blind date - nervous and excited about what might take place.

I got there and my classmate, the anesthesiologist, A.P., was there (I had asked Maria to ask him if he could make it so Dr. T. had some male professional to be able to talk to as a way of giving balance to the conversation - take the pressure off her - and me!) Soon thereafter, Maria came. And finally, Dr. T.

Dr. T. is a "country" kind of guy, but I can see over the years he's cleaned up well. He looked really good; polished in a relaxed sort of way: black crew neck sweater and khakis. He's has dark hair and dark eyes with fair skin and I thought he "meshed" well with Maria's blond hair and sparkling blue eyes.

I introduce everyone (there were two other guys that Maria had asked to come) and we started just having the normal conversation of new people getting to know each other. And then at some point I noticed Maria turned her back to Dr. T. and I and started talking with her male co-worker. I see this (while I'm conversing with Dr. T.) and think, "uh oh, this isn't good. If she really was interested in Dr. T. she wouldn't be spending her time talking to this other guy."

But I can't control anything out of my control, so I just decide to make the best of things and make Dr. T. feel comfortable with our conversation. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, Maria turns back to us and joins our conversation. I take this as an opportunity to get the hell out of the way and see if anything can develop between these two; I go to the bar and get a beer! When I come back I feel like Dr. T. and Maria are beginning to connect and I kinda breathe a little hopeful sigh of relief. She now seems interested in him, he seems interested in her.

Then the clock strikes midnight (okay, just 7:00 p.m.) and Dr. T. lets us know that he has to go on to his dinner. He ask Maria how she spells her last name but doesn't get her phone number. That's fine, I think, right? And then he goes.

Now, the time of truth is at hand. I ask Maria what she thought of Dr. T.? She tells me that people have set her up on numerous blind dates and she's never been interested. This time, she tells me, is the first time she has! I then tell her I was beginning to think that she wasn't at all interested in Dr. T. when she turned away from us and spent so much time talking to her co-worker and she tells me that she just saw that he wasn't involved in anyone's conversation and she felt like she needed to make him feel comfortable and included. Although, as she explained it, I could see it as admirable, I still think it wasn't a smart move on her part. I would have just let the co-worker fend for himself and make sure the guy who was there to meet me was the one who was getting my attention. But, hey, we're all different and in the end it seemed like it was working out.

I got home - kind of intoxicated - and had to tell my mom the whole story and then ask what I should do next? Call Dr. T. find out how it went? What he thought? My mom just said, let it be for the time being.

The time being didn't last too long. Dr. T. texted me that he wanted to talk to me about last night. I texted back, call me. So, just a little while ago I talked to him and he said that he was interested in Maria and I said, good, 'cause she is interested in you, she said that she would like to get to know you better over dinner or something. I offered to give him Maria's phone number but he asked me to find out from her if it was all right for me to give him her phone number. I'll do that tomorrow and then we'll just see what happens.

I'm in love with love and I want everyone to find lasting love. I don't know if these two will last for more than one dinner out, but I like the fact that I believe in the possibility that they will.

P.S. Last night was the first time, even though Dr. T. is only two years older than me and it seems like I've known him forever, that I called him by his first name. That in itself, was to me, a strangely new occurrence!