Meeting

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. "

~ Lewis B. Smedes

I'm meeting with my sister, K., the one I haven't seen or spoken to in over two years (and she lives only a mile away!) at my counselor's office in just a few minutes. I'm scared and nervous and whatever other adjectives you can use to describe fear of the unknown.

I emailed my sister a week ago and asked her if she would be willing to meet with me and my counselor to try to somehow reconcile our relationship. She emailed back that she would be there. I then sent her this post to read. I'm not sure if I should have done that before meeting with her or not, but I just felt like she needed to know where I was coming from and what the obstacles to our having a relationship might be. I don't know if she read it or not. I guess I'll find out in our meeting.

Ugh, I hate this. I hate the anxiety I feel welling up in my chest and my breathing being more like sighs in, and sighs out. But I'm doing it mostly for my mom and for her to have as a Christmas gift. She doesn't know anything about the meeting. I asked my sister not to mention it to anyone because I don't want high expectations to be unfulfilled.

I guess all I can do now is say a prayer and put it all in God's hands.

I'll let you know how it all turns out...