Journey

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." ~ Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

I had written earlier that I did go to see the fertility doctor, Dr. M., but I didn't mention that he had told me that I should have an HSG done. I had no idea what that test was, but Dr. M. said that he would recommend any woman trying to get pregnant should have it.

You have to schedule the test between Day 5-11 of your cycle and because I was going to be out of town those days (I took my mom on our annual pilgrimage to her "homeland"), and because we go for a month - a month in which I would have another period, but missed opportunity for the HSG - I wasn't able to get it done until I got back.

Fortunately - because I had forgot the cycle day scenario - I remembered on my last period and got the procedure all set up.

Now, Dr. M. had told me at my appointment - in regards to having the HSG done - "You will hate me for ten or fifteen minutes!" So I knew going into the procedure that it was going to be painful at some point. His staff had suggested I take four Advil an hour prior, but I had some leftover hydrocodone... a pain reliever prescribed when I had my knee surgery. I took that an hour before the HSG.

For the HSG a radiologist comes in and inserts a catheter up through your cervix - basically so all the major parts of your fertility functioning can be seen, i.e. vagina, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, etc. Well, in my case, the radiologist was having a real hard time trying to get the catheter through the cervix to get into the uterus. He was using every tool of the trade (actually consoling me for having to go the "hard and painful" route) and trying every trick in the book, but he couldn't get the catheter through my cervix.

I had been told previously by my GP and my gynecologist that I had a very narrow cervix, but they didn't seem too concerned by it so neither did I. But when this radiologist said that he had done over 500 hundred of these HSG procedures and never failed to get the catheter through the cervix opening into the uterus I became a little more concerned. Finally, after at least 25 minutes of effort he gave up and diagnosed me with cervix stenosis and told me I would probably need to get my gynecologist to dilate me and then come back in for the HSG.

Upon first hearing the diagnosis I wasn't phased... probably because I had yet to read anything on the internet about it! And the radiologist was surprised that I told him I had normal, pain-free periods, but I didn't know then either that my diagnosis can cause really painful ones. And he and the nurse in the room with me had told me it shouldn't affect my ability in trying to get pregnant because the blood from my periods obviously passes through and sperm are microscopic compared to the size of the catheter.

So, I was feeling alright going in to see my gynecologist about this problem... until he tells me it's more common in menopausal women. And then of course I read more about cervix stenosis and find out it can cause infertility. 

That's when I was like, shit, what the hell else does the "Universe" want to throw at me on my Hero's Journey?

But a few days later, when I went in to see my GP and mentioned it all to her, she just told me, "Well, you're not menopausal so that's not the reason!"

I'm not sure what I'm up against on all of this yet. After my next period I will go to my gynecologist and have him dilate me and then the next day I'll go to the hospital and have them do the HSG again. Once that's done I guess I'll find out from either my gynecologist or Dr. M. - the fertility doctor - what I may need to do.

But regardless, it does really suck to keep on having to battle these dragons! Sometimes, I'm like, now remind me again why I decided to take this journey? But it always feels like it comes back to me that, I didn't decide to take the journey as much as the journey called me to be on it!