I ❤ my Doctor

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I really feel so blessed to have the General Practice (Internist) doctor that I have. I love her.

I have been feeling so, so terribly bad with my nausea the past month it's extremely difficult to do anything other than lie or sit up in my bed. I've lost 10 lbs - only two of which I may have needed to lose - so I'm just completely going backward. The Zofran pill I started taking three years ago - a year into my illness - is no longer working. But my doctor still is.

Dr. M. just doesn't give up. I know more than 95 % of doctors would have thrown up their hands long ago and just quit trying to figure out what was causing my nausea. Fortunately for me, she's in the 5%. But almost as important to me as her trying to heal me, is her belief in my dreams.

Today, when I had my appointment with Dr. M., I was in such a sorry state I had to have my mom drive me... yep, I was that bad.

After I had talked to Dr. M. about this bad bout I was going through, and she had told me to tweak this and that in what I was doing; deciding on trying some other testing panels to give her a clearer picture of a particular thing, I told her I had something else I wanted to talk to her about.

I told her that when I get to feeling so bad, I have a hard time holding onto my dream of getting pregnant. I had let her know that even though my OV Watch told me I ovulated on Day 15, I never had my period. It seems, I said, like the stress my body is under is causing me problems in that area.
And, I added, it's just too hard for me to feel hopeful when I've got so many "dragons to slay" at once.

I said to her, that my illness takes almost all of my attention away from being able to dream my dreams, and that I didn't want to give up on them; I didn't want to quit.

And she did two things that I didn't ask for, but I really needed.

First, she said that physiologically, she felt I was ten years younger than my actual age. And what she added after telling me that was - well, it was so surprising it's hard for me to even say - that she wouldn't be surprised if I were able to have a baby - from my own eggs - at 60! Of course there are no promises to that, but for her to even think that such a thing could be possible made me just love that she was my doctor. 

Some people might feel like her saying that to me was just giving me a false sense of hope, but she's no pie-in-the-sky doctor... she deals in reality with the best of them. And she did have her last child at almost 46... she is 56 now... and she said she believes that if she wanted to get pregnant at her age she thinks she could. Hell, I don't even care if she were a pie-in-the-sky doctor! She dreams in miracles, just like me... when so many in the medical profession don't even know what a miracle is!

And the second thing she did - which wasn't as surprising, but just as needed - is she rolled her chair over to mine, and she took my hands in hers, and she prayed for me... she prayed for me to be healed and she prayed for my dreams to come true, and she prayed that I be at peace with whatever God's will for my life was. I'm sure if you aren't a person of faith (and that's a perfectly fine thing; everyone experiences life the way they need to experience it!), or you don't like someone to enter your space, or you just wouldn't like someone to do that with you, it wouldn't feel at all like it felt for me: a blessing, and another reason I love my doctor!