Once A Year

“I was made and meant to look for you and wait for you and become yours forever.” ~ Robert Browning

Today, not very long ago, really, I turned 50 years old.

I'm presently on my yearly travels with my mom back to her "homeland" - the state of her birth. As I said my goodnight to her she said what we always have said to each other on the eve of ones birthday, "Good night my __ year old. I'll see my sweet __ year old in the morning." But tonight when she said, "Good night my 49 year old," I stopped her and said, "Don't say it! I don't want to turn 50!" I told her if I had my husband and children right now I wouldn't care at all that I was turning 50, but I didn't, yet, I reminded her.

But, then, I got dressed warmly and went outside into the cold night air, with it's sweeping breeze blowing across my face, laid down and looked up at a pitch black sky with what seemed like a zillion stars above me. I listened to my iPod, took sips from a beer, just slightly colder than the air around me, and I felt like I was "home" among my "people!" For, the bright stars that are uncountable in the night sky, make my spirit soar! It's as if, I am them and they are me... as crazy as it sounds, I feel like from their vantage point, I light up the sky they see! I can't explain very well my "connection" to the dazzling night sky, but as infinite as it seems looking out at it, it makes me feel - instead of small and insignificant - like I am infinite, too.

So, as I saw the shooting stars flash from one part of the sky to another - so many times that I was awestruck - I felt happy, really happy. I was leaving 49 years behind and heading into the beginning of my 50th year and I felt like, Wow! Reaching this new age and having my dreams come true - which is what Dreaming Miracles is all about - is going to be even that much more of a miracle than ever! And the feeling of joy, when I attain my dreaming miracles, will feel like I am the light that is shooting across the darkened sky.

And at the stroke of midnight, to celebrate my 50th year, I pressed play on my iPod to this song... And I felt blessed, for just as I was about to go inside, I watched one more star, race across the heavens, letting me know, that it really is... a wonderful world!

Oh, and I got an early birthday present late on Sunday evening of which I will tell of in a future post. Very interesting... and a little shocking! : )