Life, What Are You Doing to Me?

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." ~ Helen Keller

In my recent post, Absent, I said that I had, for the first time in my life, not had a period. Because of not having my period I didn't know where I was in my cycle or even if I was having one this month. I mentioned that my doctor was having me get my blood drawn to see all the indicators of what my hormone levels were. When I had my appointment with her she told me that everything looked really good (unlike my previous visit when she had said my estrogen levels were fine, but my progesterone level was low and my FSH higher). It felt like much more encouraging news. So, now I will just have to wait and see what unfolds in the next few weeks regarding my period: if I have one or not!

But in other not so encouraging news, I am having some new health issues that are causing me concern.

I know I have mentioned that often I can feel that I am ovulating because I will get an achey feeling in my right ovary (my doctor doesn't thing I ovulate from my left ovary, I think I do, but that it is extremely rare). Anyway, I did feel that achiness in my right ovary and I did think I was ovulating. But the achey feeling kept persisting.

I told my doctor of the continued achey feeling in that area and she had me get another ultrasound done on my ovaries and my uterus. I had had the same procedure done several months back which showed that I had cysts on both my right and left ovaries and that I had a big fibroid in my uterus. As a follow up, she had the ultrasound done on me a few weeks after that first one. In that second ultrasound it showed that the cysts, as well as the fibroid were gone. I think I mentioned that I had taken some herb pills my Chinese acupuncturist had given me to make them go away, and apparently that had worked, because as I said, the second ultrasound showed everything, the cysts and fibroid, had disappeared.

Now, however, after feeling the same problem and having my third ultrasound done. It has been shown that my right ovary is enlarged measuring, 5.5 x 3.1 x 3.7 cm. The results continue by stating that there is a "complex ovarian cyst" measuring, 5.1 x 3.7 x 3.7, and further, that it is "most likely a hemorrhagic cyst," as well as having, "small free fluid around the right ovary."

Okay, so this cyst may, or may not, be a problem of any severe nature, but then I get worse news (or at least it feels like it to me). The day after my ultrasound (the one I just mentioned) I had an appointment with my doctor so I was able to go over the report with her right away. She said that I needed to get in to see and OBGYN to look further into what should be done.

I have never been to an OBGYN! Yes, that is right, at my late age I have never had an OBGYN appointment! But after she discussed that with me I told her my pain in my ovary had increased dramatically and it now was completely swollen. She examined me and felt the bulge and said to me, "That isn't your ovary area. Your right ovary is higher, above this swelling. This seems like it is a hernia." I'm thinking, I've heard the word, hernia, before, but I don't at all know what the hell it is!

So, now my doctor tells me that I need to get into see not only the surgeon for the hernia issue, but the OBGYN for the cyst problem. She gets me an appointment with the surgeon for the next morning and lets me know that she is also faxing over to the surgeon the lab report on my cyst so that if need be, she (the surgeon) can coordinate with the OBGYN.

I find myself in the surgeon's examining room and of course she tells me I will need to have surgery to fix the problem, otherwise she says, it will continue to be a problem and it could potentially get worse. In addition, she says that she will get me an appointment with the OBGYN and coordinate with him (the OBGYN is a man) as to whether or not he will need to do a surgery also. In which case, she tells me, if he should need to operate, they can open me up once and go in one right after the other! I see the OBGYN tomorrow morning.

Yep, that's how my life is going...  and now I feel as if this hernia may have been with me these past three years and I felt the achiness thinking it was my right ovary, when a more likely scenario is that the hernia (beneath my skin) only presented that achey feeling when I was actually ovulating, but only because at ovulation that area would swell. However, at this point, at least until I talk further with my GP (she gives plenty of time to discuss issues!), your guess is as good as mine.  

But what would really be an interesting question answered - and I don't know enough about hernias to know - could it be that the hernia problem, in any way, has caused my severe, chronic nausea problem. The surgeon didn't seem to put the two together, but can it just be (now that I can look back more clearly) that my nausea started three years ago, just at the time when I started first noticing achiness in (what I thought) my right ovary? It probably seems like an impossibility, but it definitely has has gotten me wondering...

Well, anyway, this all happened on Thursday and Friday. And if that wasn't enough disheartening news, C. writes me today and tells me he does finally have a release date from the military, but rather than it being in June, it won't be until sometime in July (a full month longer than anticipated). Which, even if he is mentally up to meeting me (the military, over this past year, has just about sucked every piece of sanity he has left, out of him!), it would only give us a short amount of time before he has to move on to his next career challenge: law school.

So, yeah, I'd say things are a bit of a downer for me right now.... However, I am trying to look for at least some one thing from a positive perspective, and I think I have decided what it is: that I have been needing to have an OBGYN, to be seen by an OBGYN, especially in light of what my goal is, but have never bothered to do so... now, Life is getting me there....