I've been thinking (and feeling) of why it is that when I get so very close to something that I really want it gets taken away from me... abruptly at that! *Deep sigh* It's frustrating. It's like I'm always being tested and I want to know why? Why do I have to be the one who is constantly being forced to climb over walls and fight dragons? Even as I write the question I know the answer: it's about faith.
I've said, on more than one occasion in this blog, that I believe that faith is what I am here to learn in this life; having it, losing it, finding it and holding onto it. Faith is the key to allowing the creator in me to manifest my ideas of creation; my dreams, my hopes, my desires, my miracles.
Obviously, I'm still not learning the full extent of the lesson... yet. I will.
Noting within myself how far I've come on my journey, how my attitude toward trials has evolved; from woe-is-me, the glass is half-empty, to the glass is half-full, I won't be defeated, is what, in the end, will carry me to the fulfillment of my full potential. Faith tells me that.
It is, of course, not hearing from C. for so long that is making me ponder the repeating of these trial themes. After all, when I last heard from him he couldn't have been more positive in expressing his feelings towards me and yet he's disappeared, as if he never were. What am I to make of it all? It's too soon to tell. But it is a hardship not knowing; not understanding.
It was in the midst of thinking about why hard lessons are seemingly repeating in my life that this article from Paulo Coelho's blog , completely apropos, came to my attention. "The one who fails must not see this as a mistake, but rather as a step toward greater self knowledge." Sounds like a good lesson to me.
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