"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~ Dr. Seuss
I always make my hair appointment for Friday afternoon. I guess I schedule it on Fridays with the hope that I will get to go out for a happy hour and be able to, for once, have cocktails out with friends, with my perfectly coiffed hair.
Most times, at least over the past year and a half, whenever I've gotten my hair done I haven't felt well enough to actually go anywhere, which, after paying such a sum of money, has always bummed me out.
As you know, even though I'm not a 100% better, I am so much better than I was, that I feel hope that I had been completely lacking for such a long time.
I had my hair appointment this afternoon.
I tried to get in touch with my 30 year old niece to see if she would want to go out for Happy Hour, but she wasn't able to. Then I called my friend, J., whom I hadn't seen since our high school reunion. J.'s name had come up, randomly, in two different conversations I had this week so I felt like the Universe was telling me to check in with him. I left a voicemail message but didn't hear back.
By 5:00 p.m. my hair was cut, colored, blown out, curled, teased and looking according to my stylist like, "Eva Longoria." I was like, I'm not spending $100 (that includes a $15 tip which just explains more about how small my town is, doesn't it?) and not let my hair be "shown."
I drove down to that bar I like, the one that I feel is a good cross between upscale and "Cheers" and sat at "my" barstool down at the end. I was sitting by myself. When I'm down at the end of the bar, in the corner, I feel like I'll be fine; like I'm not sticking out like a sore thumb. But before I could even get the bartender over to order my drink a guy came up and said, "Do you mind if I squeeze a barstool in here at the end?" And I was like, no, help yourself.
I then ordered my Bombay Sapphire dirty martini and a dozen raw oysters on the half shell. I heard him order an IPA beer. As the bartender was getting our drinks I turned to him and said. "Happy Friday. My name is L., how are you doing?" From that point we had a conversation through one martini into another for me, and beer and appetizer for him - a good hour and a half. It was a much better conversation than the last time I was at this particular bar - on my blind date. I wasn't in, "this is the one" mode, but I definitely felt like he was somebody that I would like to continue to know.
I wasn't trying to jump too far ahead, but I know how hard it is to find someone in the vicinity of my age group that is single, has a good job/education, is a good conversationalist and is cute (he had dimples). At the very least I felt, if not him, then maybe he has an acquaintance who might be a good match for me - that, widen-your-network-mentality was kicking in.
I was trying to be friendly and open. I couldn't have pitched myself (in what I thought was a very un-intimidating way) any better as being open to getting to know him on a friendly basis. I guess he wasn't interested. I had finished my drink and there was nothing to do but ask for my tab. He got his at the same time.
As we paid our tabs and began to part ways, he said how nice it was to meet me and that maybe we would "run" into each other again. WTF? At first, I think, what went wrong with me here? Did I talk too much? Did I come across as uninteresting? Did I ask too many questions of him? What? But, really, I think I was just me; the me who is interesting and the me who is interested in the person I'm talking to. I was fine. My fine might not have been his "fine" but I was just fine.
I was reminded of a time, years ago, when I complained to my father that I kept having these guys I wasn't interested in, being interested in me, and how it was really bumming me out, and he said to me, "L. you're looking at it in the wrong way. You've got to realize that you are putting something positive "out there" that is attractive and if you keep putting "it" out there you will attract someone who wants you; who is the person that you want!"
I'm listening to my father right now.
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